Good news: I have had it in the past, I continue to have it towards the people I love, but when you are that old you learn to see death as something right and inevitable. Death really scares only when premature.

In 2019 there were almost 15 thousand people residing in Italy with one hundred or more years of age, 84 percent of whom were women.
We are talking about people who have witnessed a century in which changes and innovations have been among the fastest ever, and which for grandchildren and great-grandchildren already seem prehistoric.
I mean: have you ever tried to imagine a way without a refrigerator?
I bothered my grandmother: Alfia Distefano, born in 1921, Sicilian and centenarian for just over a month, told us what these changes have been and how life is when you cross the century.
VICE: Let's start from here, would you ever think you'd live that long? Alfia: Absolutely not.
I have never taken life for granted, of course I have always tried to eat right and move a lot, but I think I realized that I really did it only while blowing the candles.
It also takes some luck.
What do you think were the best and worst decades of the last hundred years?
The worst was certainly the period of the Second World War.
My brothers had left for the front, and I was left alone with my mother and my father who was blind, so he was not sent.
We decided to move to the countryside because it was more difficult for them to drop bombs in those areas.
More difficult, but not impossible.
In particular, I remember that once the countryside was also bombed.
We were forced to flee and hid together with other people in a cave.
It was terrible, many were unable to escape and died while seeking shelter.
I also remember the happiness when the Americans came to free us, while we were worried about my brothers who had not yet returned.
On the other hand, I have lived through many beautiful decades.
All in all, I feel I have had a good life and full happy moments can always be there, even in times that seem the worst to us.
Alfia with family.
Photo courtesy of her.
How many people you loved have died?
It would be easier to tell who stayed.
Every single loss I experienced had a different weight, the one that hurt the most was the death of my son.
Mor when he was five, it was really heartbreaking, I really thought my life ended there with him.
I realized this was not the case when I gave birth to my second child.
There was this new life ahead of me, and he deserved all the love I could give.
Also in this sense I think I have always been lucky, every time I lost someone a new life came that reminded me that I had to make myself strong.
It also happened when my husband died in 1992.
My first grandson had just turned one: it wasn't time to throw me down yet.
Are you afraid of death?
I have had it in the past, I still have it towards the people I love, but when you are that old, death you learn to see it as something right and inevitable.
Death really scares only when premature.
How much do you think the world has changed in the last hundred years?
changed so much that in reality I don't even know how to quantify it.
Perhaps I understand its value more because I know how it was before.
When I was young there was nothing of what exists now, and I'm not just talking about things like computers or mobile phones, I'm talking about much more trivial things like the refrigerator; the food was stored at the bottom of the wells or in the cellars, we did not have running water.
Seeing the world change so much was beautiful, today there are such advanced technologies that I can't even understand how they work, for if I think from where we started, the fact that I can see on the phone the face of my nephew who lives on the other part of Italy fills my heart with joy.
In your opinion, how has the condition of women changed?
As a child my father often said you should have been a boy because he thought my intelligence was wasted on a woman whose only concerns would most likely be looking after her home and children.
It was unthinkable in general, and especially in certain contexts, that a woman could aspire to something different.
Now I see my niece, she can do whatever she wants, decide for herself who she wants to be, and that's beautiful and right, although I admit that it would scare me a little.
According to some today, partners are more often found with dating apps, but when you were young how did you know other people?
Eh, it was very different in my day.
First of all, we didn't go out that much, we were always at home.
The occasions to go out were Sunday mass, village festivals or the theater, and it was always accompanied by at least one member of the family.
If a boy noticed you, he would inquire about who you were and at that point he would send a relative to your house, or ask to intercede with the matchmaker, who was a real intermediary.
A man who, on a paid basis, went to the home of the family of the girl he liked and tried to arrange the engagement.
Alfia's wedding.
Photo courtesy of her.
If the family approved of the suitor, they usually asked the girl for approval.
If she too said yes about her, the engagement was formalized and the boy could go and visit her, but always in the presence of the whole family and never sitting close together.
You basically didn't really know your boyfriend until you married him.
Even I admit that I only really met my husband after I married him.
Before I only knew that he was a handsome boy from a good family and very dedicated to work.
We didn't even know what sex was.
Men knew this because it was explained to them, we women often came to marriage unaware of what was going to happen.
Let's say you learned gradually.
How do you spend your time today?
For a couple of years I have not been able to do many things anymore, I get tired easily and I am a bit like an autumn leaf that can fall off at any moment.
It happens every now and then, but if I stop doing the things that make me happy I'm sure I will die.
For example, I really enjoy taking care of the garden, something that my apprehensive relatives consider dangerous.
I take care of the flowers, take the sun and chat with the neighbors who always come by to greet me.
Everyone in my neighborhood loves me, in fact I am sorry that due to the pandemic we have lost the opportunity to chat properly.
I don't hear much, and understanding the words while keeping your distance is more difficult.
Do you hope there is life after death?
I am a woman of faith, so yes.
In my heart I am sure that there is something after death, which will be able to embrace all the people I have lost and at the same time rejoice in the achievements of those who remain.
I never thought there could be anything other than this.
So, in your opinion, how long should a person's life last on average?
Certainly not as much as mine, I know I am very lucky because despite my age I am still able to reason but also a bit of a torture.
I have the desire to do a thousand things and my body cannot keep up with me, plus I often realize too late that I have done too much and the pains in the evening are many.
In addition, when you stop being self-sufficient, you are totally dependent on others.
Without my son and daughter-in-law I would have died a long time ago, I always say that.
Let's say that considering how I got there, 95 seems reasonable to me, but it depends from person to person.
Photo courtesy of the interviewee.

From Vice