Do you ever end a conversation with a stranger and ask you how nice the six outcome?
I bet you often tend to think that during these first interactions you give just a real good first impression?
This is the theme today, a kind of cognitive bias that leads us to underestimate our impact on others good listening:
According to studies you just heard, we tend constantly to underestimate our first impression towards others.
C a pleasure gap between what we perceive and how we were perceived.
According to the study authors this would happen because during the first interaction we are so focused on ourselves by not being able to correctly interpret the feedback of our party.
Instead of focusing on him and on what is telling, as we saw in the last episode on silence, we tend to bring attention to ourselves and to how and what we turn out nice.
We have recently seen this too nelleffetto tied to social desirability.
Where we cynically pointed out that the most important person for us, is ourselves.
There you just saw a set of videos that I'm recording for some time, where the public psychology articles that I consider more interesting.
Lho baptized psychological observation, and perhaps one of the best ways to get in touch with psychology, especially for non-experts.
To help us understand the experimental aspects of psychology and how these searches are in continual and constant turmoil.
Even at this moment they are doing interesting research that one day could change your life.
In particular, the pleasure gap puts together several discoveries of psychology in recent years such as: the effect spotlight (spotlight effect), social desirability and the famous first impression.
Let's see them all calmly
As we saw in this episode spotlight the effect happens whenever we feel observed and judged by the next during a social interaction.
Like when you come out of a store with the new shoes and you think that all you are looking at.
In this case it seems good but usually takes on negative connotations of judgment.
For example, when we take the word within a group, or when we do some small gaffe, when we stumble and we think that the whole city has noticed etc.
And an error of assessment arising from the fact that we all look at the world from our subjectivity, our world.
Even the words that I write right now are Gennaro-centric.
And in turn the interpreters psinellino-centric way, what with your own individual and unique subjectivity.
Even the pleasure gap points us the beacon on our negative aspects at the end of the conversation.
There is never a second chance to make a good first impression said Oscar Wilde who coincidentally was an esthete, ie those who are dedicated to the cult of beauty above all other values, moral or ethical.
And indeed as Wilde's words are confirmed by psychology, and that which other people tend You to estimate within a few seconds, the much more complex reality of cos.
As we have seen here several times, things are not exactly so: try to think of a loved one actual friend who can not remember the first impression.
And chances are you do not see him as well as you see it now.
Because actually the time and in-depth knowledge dismantled almost completely stereotyped that first impression.
True, if you have to give a good first impression with no chance to repeat, the first moments are worth everything.
But in most cases people who are interested in really give a good impression we are bound and eager to ricontrarli!
As we saw in the episode dedicated to this phenomenon we all tend to want to make us more or less good-will from next.
We can trace the reasons still in our evolutionary history.
Who it was once considered as overly unpleasant was removed from the community and this could significantly degrade the life of the person away.
Research has even shown that the feeling of being excluded and rejected by a physically painful group.
Our body responds as if someone was doing physical harm!
And this happens in the laboratory, where they make you play a video game in which all of a sudden you come voluntarily excluded while my colleagues measure your psycho-physiological parameters.
From there it emerged in several studies, when strangers will oust from a stupid viedogame that we try a similar to physical pain.
Not to mention the mental saw that start.
One of the problems that we have these trends related to our limited perceptual capacity.
Right now as I're not aware of the laws of a lot of things.
Among the most simple, such as the fact that star breathing, your heart beating and the temperature of your hands.
Now that I've talked to your attention fall on it, but until recently were semi conscious.
The same applies to your inner resources, one day someone said that the man like a beggar sitting on a treasure chest full of jewels, just not aware.
If only he could access that chest immediately would stop begging.
There we did, we learned that we have and what we do, not always available to our awareness.
So we may one day find a person can make us completely forget the casket on which we are sitting.
Maybe because it takes very embarrassed, because it looks like our first girlfriend by children or simply because an asshole or bitch.
Or because we are not in shape, we have other things to think so.
As we have seen researchers speak of forces that pull and push, push and pull forces during the first interactions.
On the one hand we try to look beautiful and good and do dallaltro The exact opposite.
This interactive exchange is not new in psychology.
Since in Palo Alto have started applying systems theory to family therapy things were already clear enough.
Psychopathology since that time more was not the same, the problem is no longer in The individual or family member but BETWEEN family members.
And this happens only by virtue of continuous feedback and received data.
To keep lomeostasi (the balance in biological terms), organizations must continually deal with forces pro and against, and when these are the same illusion comes dellequilibrio.
It is very difficult to notice these forces, although between the tips of the week I entered as a first point just the fact of paying attention to new trends, if you are one who tends more to push or pull more.
Know our blind spots is a challenge that lasts a lifetime, resembles the process of individuation described by Jung, where they bring to light all the shadows.
But this Herculean effort I ask of you, rather something that resembles more the fact of knowing that you have a flat tire a lot.
Imagine having a very flat tire, the first step accorgetene.
Imagine also being already on the road and you know it on the way.
Certainly the second step would be to go from the first gas station to inflate it, but if you could?
Then the most dangerous thing would be to drive without being aware of the presence of that little defect.
Why we get used to driving in all conditions, and we risk making us very badly.
Being aware of our mental bias helps us to know each other and trying to manage them, just like the flat tire.
Do not ignore it advisable and even try to eradicate it.
And that's the issue that will deepen together in Qde (exercise book) devoted to this episode.
Ps.
I'm working on a large database in which you can easily find all Qde.
Obviously it will be reserved only to members of the community