Hear
synch
Identify the roots
Take argue
Discuss in person
Stimulate the self-esteem
Do not rush
Focus on the facts
Use the paradoxes
Suppose you are wrong

exhausting discussions that lead to a stalemate and a great sense of frustration often end in this way attempts to get someone to take our point of view.
It happens even when in support of our thesis we present irrefutable scientific evidence.
Some of our interlocutors, indeed, seem totally impervious to logic and rationality: people like that, if we have to deal with it every day, at home or at work, can drive us crazy (Find out what they are).
Before beating his head against the wall, however, better take a deep breath, ask yourself a few questions and then try to implement the most effective tactic.
"When someone is particularly resistant, must ask ourselves: is not by chance that we are, with our attempt to change his mind, the architects of his stiffening?" Warns Matthew Rampin, psychiatrist and hypnotherapist, author of mind control techniques ( Aurelia).
"Many people, in fact, always autopersuadono more of his idea to gradually someone puts in doubt."
In short, insisting too much is likely to be counterproductive: it is necessary to adopt different strategies.
Difficult task: to change his mind a person, even the most conciliatory, is always difficult.
The man is in fact a "cognitive conservative," that tends to keep their ideas even when faced with evidence to the contrary.
"To change his mind a person is more useful to use, along with rational arguments, even the art of persuasion, that appeal to the emotions, instincts, to arguments that seem to spin even though they are not at all logical," suggests Rampin .
"This is because in reality all of us, whether or not we realize it, we are reluctant to think logically."
Here then is some trick to be able to bring others to our side.
You have to show openness to the other person and give him the opportunity to express his reasons.
Instead of making statements at the beginning you place questions, showing curious and respectful.
This allows you to establish an emotional connection.
Do not forget that anyone who supports irrational opinion is moved by more than by reasoning emotions.
This, however, should not make you think that your idea is weaker than yours: as noted by Antonio Damasio, neuroscienzato the University of Southern California in Los Angeles, reason and emotions are not in opposition.
Emotions are indeed an integral part of every decision-making process, so much so that if you do not feel we are not able to take any position.
So: to be understood and respected.
Very often, for example, under certain "extreme" statements there are anger and / or fear.
Better to know what you are talking about really, before replying.
To facilitate the connection with the interlocutor can be useful to take a posture to him speculate, imitating the gestures (no exaggeration!)
It serves to get in tune, it's like saying: "I am like you."
Tune also the language, taking up the same words and expressions.
Avoid instead of atteggiarvi professors: increases distance, cools the report and pushes the other to sharpen their weapons.
No one likes to be treated like a fool if you do Saputelli, the battle is lost from the start.
identified the roots.
Try to understand where his ideas come from.
Some opinions, in fact, are not neutral, but they say who we are and what group we belong is the case, for example, political or religious faith.
Change them means giving up a piece of their identity, and this is not easy for anyone.
Even scientists, despite the glaring evidence, are struggling to change their minds if that idea have dedicated their lives.
According to Thomas Kuhn, American philosopher, science proceeds by "leaps", and not in a linear way, just because older scholars, who hold the most power in the environment science, oppose the ideas that do not correspond to their paradigms.
To force heliocentrism has served the Copernican revolution.
So, if you realize that the other's obstinacy is rooted in his sense of belonging to a certain community (political, religious, ethnic, sports ...), before proposing your doubts express all due respect for the his family".
After you listen more willingly.
What are the logical traps most exploited Go to gallery (25 photos) DO argument.
Give a chance to the other party to make a real rally, without interrupting and making him just a few questions to clarify the obscure points of his argument.
Sometimes it will give itself in the foot.
It happens because of what American researchers Leonid Rozenblit and Frank Keil called "illusion of deep understanding": you think you know how a lot of things, but when you are forced to get to the bottom (as with the parents harassed by the constant "why? "children) sooner or later it bogs down.
One of the less "civilized places" to dialogue are social networks.
It is known that the network is full of haters ( "haters"), users who despise and criticize destructively others.
Also in online discussions it lacks the body language, required to tune with each other and to make the necessary adjustments when the conversation takes the wrong turn.
Finally, scripta manent: who has spoken in a way unlikely to return on his ideas, especially if the discussion takes place in a public platform.
That's why, as suggested by Christie Aschwanden, blogger and columnist for the Washington Post, rather than arguing about Facebook is better to have a beer at the bar.
Before each "attack" it is important to highlight the good points of the other arguments, showing respect and appreciation.
As it demonstrated by Brendan Nyhan, a political scientist and professor at Dartmouth College, in the United States, if a person feels accepted and considered, rather than challenged, will be more willing to review its position and even to accept ideas different from his.
Honoring the party's vision does not mean to marry her thesis, but emphasize his "good reasons" and show you understand them.
Gutta cavat lapidem, they said the ancient Romans, that is dripping wears away the stone: with patience, and in small doses, you get to change even the most rigid positions.
According to Howard Gardner, a professor of psychology at Harvard University, change your mind of a sudden it's almost impossible.
Everyone needs time to get used to a new idea, to collect more items as possible and weigh the pros and cons.
"Napoleon said, I hurry, so I go slowly," recalls Rampin.
"Go slow leads to faster results because it will prevent the speaker stiff erect defensive barriers and insurmountable."
To suggest some doubt, especially in case of strong ideas of identity (see point "roots" identified), it is already a result of which go satisfied.
10 tricks to influence people Go to gallery (10 photos) Focus on facts.
More than the idea itself, that whoever believes hard to leave, better to focus on the facts that contradict, or exceptions that could make it acceptable to the other its case.
"Persuade more facts than words," points Rampin, "then you should try to make concrete our arguments with vivid images and examples drawn from the experience."
If a person rejects Darwin's theories because they contradict the Bible, it should be remembered that many Catholics (better naming names and surnames of common knowledge) believe in evolution and not why they stop believing in God.
Insist on an unfounded belief, on the contrary, only it gets to reinforce it.
Use the paradoxes.
The paradoxical statements help to chip away the certainties.
They are destabilizing, they send each other in confusion, preparing to leave room for different ideas.
For this he was widely used from Milton Erickson, the founder of modern hypnosis, with the most resistant patients.
"Safety is the most dangerous thing in the world" (Huge Walpole), or "confess a weakness is a gesture of superiority" (Dino Basili) or "Whenever people agree with me, I feel be wrong "(Oscar Wilde, a true master of paradoxes).
assumed to be wrong.
Do not assume that you are right.
It's hard to admit, but this possibility does exist.
It is indeed an important point, without which the previous nine tricks fail miserably if games with the assurance that your idea is the right one, your partner will feel manipulated and teased.
It is therefore important to be always willing to change his mind in the presence of new elements that show the question in a different light.
To stay in the field of paradoxes: it is irrational to pursue even the rationality at all costs.

From Focus