We live in a hypocritical and paradoxical historical period: on the one hand society proposes and directs us towards a sexuality that is free from any tab, on the other it mortifies us and makes us ashamed of betrayal, indeed if we only dare to think of betraying.

we believe that we cannot desire another human being other than the partner and the times we manage to admit the attraction towards the new colleague just hired, we must cling to a plausible justification for our chastened and bigoted conscience that very often of this tenor:

If I feel like him / her, it means that something is wrong with my current relationship.

We are destined to get bored with things, precisely this drive, this continuous dissatisfaction, this not being satisfied that has made us overcome many limits to our species.

Do you know what Uma Thurman, Victoria Beckham, Siena Miller, Jennifer Garner and supermodel Jarry Hall have in common, as well as being named one of the most beautiful women in the universe?

They were all betrayed by their respective partner with the babysitter on duty who, while taking care of their children, was also taking care of their husbands at the same time.

What I mean is that it doesn't matter if you're dating Scarlett Johansson; in a while, she won't turn you on like the first day and I know you think it's impossible now but only because you're not really dating her, Scarlett Johansson.

We cannot, therefore, decide for ourselves to feel attraction towards another person.

We can, however, choose not to make it a problem.

We are more than 7 billion on this planet, it is not a bit exaggerated to morally torment ourselves, to fill ourselves with guilt, to have pangs of conscience, to question our relationship and in some cases even our whole life, just because we feel some form of desire. often not yet clearly defined in relation to another human being?

As the brilliant psychotherapist Esther Perel argues in the book Cos fan tutti, the clandestine stories that survive once they come out are statistically very few.

But how? From a relationship for which you have been put so much at risk, one would expect greater resistance and instead when separation or divorce comes, when that is, when the sublime mixes with the ordinary and the relationship enters the real world of it's up to you to do. the dishes and lower the tablet, everything ends by magic.

We, however, who have always made the huge mistake of equating everyday life with banality, consider it a first worrying fall in love.

In the book Marriage and Morals of 1929, the philosopher Bertrand Russell emphasizes how the psychology of adultery distorted by conventional morality that in monogamous countries, attraction for one person cannot coexist with serious affection for another. All this fake.

From Stateofmind