From access to education, to the influence of feminism, consumerism until the explosion of urbanization, the researcher examines in detail the reasons why people choose to remain single despite social pressure, and why would happier individuals and less selfish than their counterparts who have long-term relationships.

VICE Elyakim met to discuss his new book.
VICE: First of all, because the singles are the demographic group that grew most rapidly in the world?
Elyakim Kislev: First, people want more privacy in one's life.
And then, we must consider improving the status of women in society; in most developed countries, the woman no longer need a man to support it and more independent.
Complete a course of study and then build a career requires more time, so more and more people are postponing marriage.
Even the internal and international migration are key factors, with people who often travel, the links are more difficult to maintain.
We are more individualistic and increasingly global citizens.
Despite this, the company still hostile to singles, and indeed consider them a threat or a burden.
Why, in your opinion?
I believe it is due to the fact that the change happened very quickly.
About responsible for his companion and their children, probably it does not represent a threat to society.
And today we still need something concrete and tangible to define a responsible person.
But this reality is changing rapidly; we are more and more connected, but the connections are less tangible.
We have highly developed networks of contacts, we have friends all over the world, and many will personally take care of their elderly parents.
Our way of thinking did not change at the same speed with which changed the reality around us; we still think that we can not trust the single.
That cos' the matrimania?
a term coined by Professor Bella DePaulo, one of the experts in the field.
He argues that society is imbued with the concept of marriage, and then drives people to marry and to have children.
The matrimania has generated the so-called "singlism," a negative feeling and derogatory towards people who are not in pairs, of which the company does not trust.
How widespread this feeling, and why so harmful?
We do not know for sure.
And this brings another crucial chapter: there is no mention of the status of single persons.
All assume that you want to get married, but just because they do not talk, we have no data on this.
Over time, we have internalized the idea that everyone, and I mean everyone should get married sooner or later.
If we have no desire for marriage, we feel guilty because we do not have, like we should at all costs to have this goal.
Your research has found that those who single by choice and happy to be so perceived in an even more negative with respect to singles who are looking for a partner.
In your opinion, why?
the same thing that happens with any kind of discrimination.
Our mentality based on ancestral concepts.
And we need such people around us, who share our values.
When a person tells us that wants to get married, at that time we think, OK, on our side, one of us.
But if that person claims not to want to marry, immediately perceive as problematic, because it does not share our values.
What is the most common misconception about singles who have found in the course of your research?
What singles are sad people.
Single people can be very happy alone, and can live a full and fulfilling life.
They are often seen as immature, antisocial or inappropriate.
He often cites the fact of not wanting to die alone as one of the main reasons to stay in pairs.
Why, in your opinion, this mode of thinking wrong?
People believe that they necessarily have to happen something terrible.
And because of this fear, many accept compromessosecondo a study, some even come back with their exe marry.
This fear leads us to make bad decisions, many are getting married for the wrong reasons, they live an unhappy marriage, have been together for 10 or 20 years and then divorced in et mature after 50 years.
At this point in their lives, people are not ready to live as a single, and have no support network, because they have forsaken friends, acquaintances and passions to focus on the family.
And so they find themselves in worse situations than those who were single forever.
So the fear that drives them to do so.
Single people are generally considered the most selfish people in pairs, but your research has shown that it does not.
just the opposite.
The single children are much more involved than their parents than do their married children or family.
They are more sociable and have more contacts, find happiness and satisfaction in friendships, at work and through volunteering.
In your book, you talk about different ways in which the company should change to better support single.
What is the most important of all, in your opinion?
Education for single life, in primary schools.
We must teach young people to be responsible individuals, to take care of each other, to face the problems of life, to make connections and solid community.
We must begin very soon, since childhood.
Who fares better in terms of personal happiness: single men or single women, and why?
Single women are generally very happy with their situation.
They are very focused on social ties.
Married men often forget friends and do not invest enough in the development of new bonds.
And so, when they divorce they find themselves alone.
What can learn about happiness married and unhappy people from the single?
Married people certainly have a lot to learn about life by single people.
One of the most important things you must never give up friends, relatives and connections in general.
Married people are also often the most sun.
Additionally, singles have the feeling that every choice you make determines the direction they take their life, they feel responsible.
Many married people, however, tend to think that they can not do anything more, you could not choose most.
And this they blame the partner, the fact of being tied to another person.
We should try to be more independent can, take control of their own lives and their own decisions.
Do you think that marriage is an institution destined to become obsolete?
No.
The marriage the expression of a deep commitment to another person.
I think that some people will always need.
I believe, however, that at a certain point it will create a sort of spectrum commitment and dedication to the couple.
There will be so married couples, couples who live together, couples living separate and more frequent occasional relations.
In the future, I hope that there is more diversity and more acceptance of diversity.

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