Summary:

"We are less and less at ease in talking face to face, especially when a decision has to be made. With technology it has become much easier to let time pass and forget to respond."

Simply saying that you are very busy allows two things: on the one hand, to find an excuse, and on the other to put yourself in a position of superiority.

to say that you are constantly busy serves to reassure yourself: it is a way to avoid the feeling of emptiness.

So when you send a message, keep in mind that the recipient might have better things to do — just as his phone tells him. Or it may not have anything to do, and ignoring your message would be a way to counteract that moment of life perceived as miserable. In that case, take it as a wake-up call or at most a form of ridiculous snobbishness on the part of your interlocutor, who deserves to be left alone in a corner.

Full text:

Today, most of the messages I send to my circle of friends disappear in a kind of limbo.

Sometimes they remain unanswered for hours and days, accompanied by the humiliating notification "displayed."
Yet many of these same messages end with a question mark, a symbol that implies a question and therefore also the need for a response.
So, whenever the hassle for the failure to respond is dissolved, I find myself reflecting on why my simple question can leave my party or my interlocutor without words.
In most cases, insisting there is no question-it would be a bit 'like going from office colleagues who will not deign to look and ask with the most innocent look in the world, "So guys, where we eat today?"
Obviously there is a tolerance range within which it is acceptable answer, but because there are people with phones that cost as a direct Paris-Los Angeles who never respond?
Or even worse, they respond with days late?
Often, in fact, the lack of response is only the beginning dell'affronto.
After full days of silence or following a reminder from our part, we happen to see each other respond, "Oh sorry, I did not see."
Ok.
Too bad that all this time the distance between their hands and the phone has never exceeded 30 cm, and that the minimum notification of Instagram has made them jump up like a shower of purple notes.
Then there is also another variant, the famous: "Man, I saw the message, I said after I answer and then I forgot."
All right .
But what a message like "Tonight I drink?"
requiring hours of reflection?
It is just like saying, "Oh, you say if we put on an army and invade Poland?
Tomorrow at 7 okay? "
Simply put: you have a problem hell these people?
Probably, their problem is not you: do not do it because they want to cut you out-no in most cases, at least.
It could, quite simply, ghosting.
If in general the term is associated with the practice of interrupting a report disappeared from the life of the other person, by extension also indicates the habit much less drastic to never respond to messages.
And if there's anyone who sees it as a way to get instant hate, according to some it would be a phenomenon with very different origins.
As explained by a reporter from the New York Times, "We are less and less at ease to talk face to face, especially when you have to make a decision.
With technology has become much easier to let pass the time and forget to answer. "
In these cases, therefore, would not answer a strategy to ward off from himself the time when you will need to make a decision.
As if to say yes or no to a normal appetizer could have consequences on the next ten years of his life.
The paradox is that ten years ago we would have made false papers to be able to send SMS in five more.
Many of these people, when interviewed, admitted they can not answer because they "always engaged."
Of those, say, who have two phones but do not have time overstating miss one.
According to a recent study of the advertising agency Havas, 51 percent of workers admit to exaggerate when he says to "be presissimo."
Because the time to answer would be: their Excel spreadsheets are not going anywhere, and there are employers ready to whip popping as soon as you lay your fingers on smartopone.
It simply said to be very busy allows two things: on the one hand, to find an excuse, and the other put yourself in a posizine of superiority.
To quote Tim Kreider in a piece published by the New York Times blog, "said to be constantly busy serves to reassure themselves: it is a way to avoid feeling empty.
When you have so many things to do, your life will not seem so insignificant.
But it can also be annoying, because it is common to feel a tinge of envy when someone tells you to be busy. "
Then there are the phones.
With all the features that they today, the messages take a back seat, and suddenly the fact to send or receive is a bit 'like giving bubble bath for a birthday-trivial, perhaps worthy of an aunt.
As explained by the Clerger Stphane L'Obs psychiatrist, "for the young ones the phone is a friend, a pet, a treasure chest where the app unconsciously lead to overestimate the virtual socialization and continuous flow of information without interest.
In this way, it loses the ability to establish a hierarchy what is important and what is not. "
How much can be interesting reply to a message when the friend asks duty dating advice when there is an entire Instagram feed full of strangers and video stupid consult?
This summer, the former "Product Philosopher" Google Tristan Harris-published an article entitled "How technology is pirating our minds" -in which explains how the biggest names in Silicon Valley are looking for new ways to make us lose much time as possible in distractions thanks to what they call "persuasion strategies."
According to him, our brains and our thoughts function according to an invisible list of things that seem important, or to do at a given time.
The fact of living would be to make ongoing choices within this invisible-shame list that cell phones go to fit into this process, adding new nonstop list items that end up competing with reality.
Receiving a message with a request creates a bond with reality, and the cell's mission is to search, whatever the cost, to move off.
Thus, since the reality is not always in harmony with the will, everyone returns to their mobile phone without answering.
The reality is unjust and difficult.
But the phone is there for you to escape.
When you send a message, so keep in mind that the recipient might have better things to do-as well as tells him her phone.
Or it might not have anything to do, and ignore your message would be a way to counteract that moment of life perceived as miserable.
In that case, take this as a wake or at most a form of snobbery ridicule by the other party, which deserves to be left alone in a corner.
Just like your messages.

From Vice